“Not Quite Sunrise” by Finn Padden
Not Quite Sunrise
I try to make the world smaller whenever I need
the space. Look, all the way
down there, do you see it all? All of everything.
Isn’t it grand? Isn’t it lonely?
“Love is a choice” she said, a few minutes before
the shouting began, as the sun
eavesdropped from behind the horizon, waiting
for the real fire to ignite upstairs.
We were unprepared and unpresentable when
we heard the voice from
above, the one that wasn’t God but could have
been. The voice that, if it were,
would have taught me once again the fear I
forgot in my teenage years.
If that voice were God then perhaps the sun
wouldn’t have leant in closer
as the far removed talk of choices found its way
into my mouth. This is not my
world. This is not my distance. If the sun wanted
so desperately to be here
could I not take its place in the sky? Where there
are no talks on porches
between the gowned and the blanketed, where
there is no spilt wine,
where I could sit behind the horizon until the
slamming of doors faded away,
until the day of judgement was over and like the
God who I abandoned
I could rise my head above the clouds and usher
in a new day.
My name is Finn Padden and I’m a 21 year-old final-year student at Cardiff Metropolitan University. I have been writing poetry as a hobby, uploading my work to shouldertappingpoetry.tumblr.com, since I was 17 years old. I am a very passionate cat-person.